I had yet another dream, it was odd, interesting, but fun, in a disturbing sort of way. Don't ask me what this dream is about, because I've blocked it out already because of someone who made an appearance in it. For those who read my myspace blogs you know who I'm talking about -.-
Frankly I'm done with this, I've grown up, either I get amnesia and forget her completely or she comes back and eases my mind into such a state where she isn't in there so often.
I notice I think about the friends that have gone more than the friends that are here only because they hurt me the moment they were gone, and I wish for their company because I'm a sick fuck. In the past week something happened and I wanted to tell her about it!
I am not obsessed, this happens often when I lose someone on accident or they leave me. Sometimes I can wait, sometimes I'm tortured bymemories, and right now I hate her for doing what she did because now she's in my head.
I'm going to go crazy! >.<
I never loved her! She was an ethereal sex object, though I did enjoy her company, she was a sweet girl. It was my libido that loved her, not my heart and I'd like to make up for past transgressions.
She won't, however, contact ME, why? because she cut off all ties with me and I will be damned if I try and call or write her through e-mail because, well...I could get in trouble considering she's a minor and I'm 18, she might get the wrong idea before I even get a word in edge wise and ruin my life.
I want to at least explain myself, a little closure, not that bullshit letter I sent her immediately after blocking me on every possible Instant message program -.-
What are your ideas?
